Did I mention we are pregnant?

I wrote a post on May 15th called  "Life and Progesterone" when I read it now, I laugh! Oh the irony!! You see, we conceived that weekend, that's right I'm almost 10 weeks pregnant! WHAT A SURPRISE!!!

There were so many things that make this the surprise of the decade!

1) I had that blood test May 13th that said on day 21 I had not ovulated so I thought I wasn't ovulating at all.
2) May was the "every other month" where I ovulate out of my left side. This is the side where I have no fallopian tube and the likely hood of even getting pregnant is very low, although the Dr's did say sometimes the egg can find it's way down the other fallopian tube.
3) We were all ready to go down the road of having doctor assistance to get pregnant, having set up appointments done the paperwork and started the testing.
4) May was the busiest month ever! Getting pregnant wasn't even on the table, actually we stoped really trying after my February cycle because I DID NOT WANT TO BE PREGNANT ON OUR TRIP!!

Well the universe reminded me that it's in control and that "whether or not it's clear to you no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." After February I just decided that taking my temps, and peeing on ovulation sticks and being obsessive about trying to get pregnant was working against me. I hated everybody saying "oh just relax and it will happen."  That is THE most annoying thing you can say to somebody who is actively trying to get knocked up. But after February, having 2 thermometers that always read 2 different temperatures and ovulation sticks that KEPT BREAKING!! (and they aren't cheap) it was clear to me that I was going about it all wrong and maybe that whole stop trying so hard and it will happen methodology was right.  And in all honesty, I really didn't want to be pregnant on our trip. Yeah that trip we just got home from. I wanted to drink alcohol and have energy and enjoy this last trip before baby but that obviously didn't happen!

On May 25th, 4 days after my period was supposed to come and it didn't and it didn't and it didn't, I dug through my drawer of random bathroom amenities and found my 1 pregnancy test. I took it, and then jumped in the shower. Half way through the shower I had to see the result so I kept the water running, stepped out,  and saw THIS:

and said out loud in a sort of giggling scream "OH MY GOD!!" hahahahah I just laughed and then texted this picture to Jonas. I waited 30 minutes before he answered.... his response, "Crazy!!!"....I wanted to make sure this wasn't a fluke so I took 4 more tests,

Yes...and there was no doubt, I was pregnant. I was having an out of body experience while watching Oprah's final show.

So before we left on our trip we came in for our first ultrasound, where our conception date was confirmed. On June 7th we were about 5 weeks 4 days preggers, and it was not ectopic which was my main concern. So the doctors said go on your trip and have fun and we'll see you when you get back.  Off we went to London and because it was still so early I did not feel pregnant. I was able to enjoy London more so than the rest of our trip. Then it started, the general unsettled feeling in my stomach not full on nausea but a feeling like I just wanted to burp and it would be ok, but that burp would never come. Unfortunately that feeling lasted almost all day and it was especially bad in Spain. The other thing I'm just so damn tired! Here is an accurate self portrait of how I felt almost daily while on our trip:

It could have been jet lag too, but the trip was just torture I was such a drag to Jonas and everybody. Even now, some days are good and some days are bad, but I would have to say now that I'm back home it's not quite as bad, just a little uneasiness in the late afternoon. Some days I feel so normal that I wonder if the fetus died and then the next day I am barely able to leave my bed due to nausea and tiredness, and I say to Jonas that baby is alive and kicking my ass!

The first trimester has been so surreal for me; this cartoon kind of sums it up even now 91/2 weeks later. In fact I'm still not doing cartwheels and acting how most women do when they find out, I'm kind of surprising myself with how distant/detached I am to this baby, I won't let myself be attached to it yet, I guess I'm protecting myself because I am a realist. I know that miscarriage is common and happens all the time. It is out of your control, usually a chromosomal problem. We have told all our close friends and of course family. And we would preface the conversation by saying that it's still early and anything can happen. Everyone says 'oh yeah I know my friends had one..' and all the stories you start to here. Basically everybody understands that miscarriage can happen and it's nothing to hide. But I just didn't feel ready to blog about this big news just yet because I didn't want to test Mother Nature, so to speak. Every family is different some keep it a secret some tell the world, to each his own, no judgements.

I feel ready to tell the world now, because I'm just listening to my gut instinct. Once of my friends I told who is also expecting this October said to me, stop worrying, because all the stories about things going wrong are not the norm. The other thing I read on a posting was some Mom gave advice and just said listen to your gut, and have I not been preaching that for the last few years? That little voice is always right, always! So I feel very confident that this baby who is a complete surprise, is absolutely meant to be, and will be a healthy baby boy! Because of my mayomectomy he will have to be born via c section probably the last week of January. Estimated Due Date is 2/2-2/4/2012 but since I cannot go into labor, I'm sure we will end up picking a date at least a week before the due date or more?   Little Axel Finn (yes that is the decided name for a boy) will be here right around our 2nd wedding anniversary. January is a good month for us!

This Friday we have our next prenatal appointment where we will have another ultrasound. I'm scared and excited, you never know what it can reveal at this early in a pregnancy. I mean I just went to some silly Kaiser prenatal class about how to use the Kaiser website(OMG) and just common sense stuff which made me wonder why in the world I was there. But I had to go to fill out some paperwork which had to due with my past medical history(which my doctors already know!!??) and about our family health.  Now Jonas and I have no disease or genetic issues on either side of our families, so the next big discussion we plan to have with our doctor will be, "is it necessary to do all the genetic testing like CVS or whatever?" I'm really on the fence, because there is no reason based on our family history that we should have any issues, but I want to hear what the doctor has to say.

Well, this Friday should be a big day, Jonas has been looking forward to it since our last ultrasound. He is so excited, it's very cute. Well I think this is long enough for now, I will of course update you Friday!