The Eve of my 34th Bday

Let's see, a year ago I remember saying, "wow at my next birthday I'll have a 7 month old!" Fast forward and here we are, yes I have an adorable 7 month old daughter. This last year has been filled with ups and downs, that is for sure. We had Elsa's birth, then Jonas's father passed, then we surprisingly were pregnant again and then we were not. We were all set to get a puppy and then the momma dog didn't have as many in her belly as we thought. So up, down, up, down, but it all balances out.

Oh wait, you're like wait did I just read that right? She was pregnant?? Yup, actually my first prenatal appointment was for today I would have been 9 weeks but 3 weeks ago nature had another plan. In fact, it was just a "chemical pregnancy." This just means there was never a gestational sac, no heartbeat no attachment, etc..It is a very very early miscarriage. I'm still a little shocked I never thought it would happen to me, BUT in a way I think it was something I needed to experience to grow as a human being. I got my hair done the other day (see pic below), and  my hairdresser told me that she had a miscarriage at 9 weeks along and there was a heartbeat, Oof. All I could say was this, "something I've learned from this is that you can't understand what it's like to miscarry, until you have one yourself and that's that." She agreed and we didn't talk anymore about it. You go through so many emotions when that HPT comes back positive, there is the shock and excitement, then the dreams of a little brother or sister for Elsa. But then the reality that they would have been super duper close in age which has it's pros and cons.  I would have also been preggers on our trip to Europe like I was last year with Elsa and that was not fun. But then as the days went by I just didn't ever feel pregnant. So I wasn't surprised at that ultrasound when all was revealed which was lots of lining ready to come out. I was a little relieved I think, but of course sad too. I could have let my thoughts go into downward spirals about what if this keeps happening, what if I have scar tissue, what if it takes me 2 years to get pregnant again!?? But I'm not worried, I know we'll have another healthy baby when the time is right. I still look at it like I've got 5 years of babies if I want. Anyhow I might not have gained that much weight while I was pregnant, but my body is disgusting right now. I don't know if my metabolism slowed way down, or what is going on but I am not happy with the way I look. I'm trying to do the whole no carbs meets Paleo with a splash of dairy in my coffee but it's hard. It's hard when you think you've been eating good for 3 weeks and nothing is changing. I need to get to the gym, or hike, or something....

The other thing is I have been seeing a chiropractor for adjustments to my spine. My back has been causing me pain, and all kinds of pain. I don't sleep well at all anymore even though Elsa sleeps through the night. I toss and turn, pillow between legs, under legs, not pillow, it's just annoying. So I would like to say I feel better and I do but it's not like I'm 17 again. Oh how I wish I could run and jump and hit a volleyball like I used to!  Part of not lifting weights so much anymore is because of the extreme pain I've been in since having the baby. I was also told that when you have an epidural or a spinal like in my case, that it can cause back pain for up to 10 years! oh great....like I didn't already have enough of that before I had Elsa.

So anyhow, it's been an interesting summer so far, in all of the craziness about having a puppy and a newborn at the same time we decided we HAD to buy a bigger car. I moved Elsa out of the infant car seat and into the next stage seat for her but it barely fits in our little SUV, I can't believe it! So 2 car seats a double stroller, a dog, Jonas's mom or any other person in the car with us. \Nope, not gonna happen impossible. Our car is not very spacious, we actually need a new car pretty soon so even though we are not pregnant I think we are still going to go ahead and buy a minivan when we get back from Sweden in October.

I know, I know I always said I would NEVER drive a minivan, but they are just so nice. 2 of my high school friends and my Mom drive around in Toyota Siennas and they swear by them. Since my Dad was a Toyota dealer I would never get anything else so that's what we want. They are the best minivan period. I want this thing to last a solid 15 years so we're going to buck up for it.

Lastly, you have to trust that the Universe has a plan and that everything is working out the way it should. Because while I got my hair done, and Elsa was at my Mom's house yesterday, my Mom took it upon herself to call the Dalmatian breeder we got our wonderful family dog from. This breeder lives blocks from my parents house. My mom called to talk to the breeder to see if she had any puppies or litters on the way because of the aforementioned breeders debacle. Anyhow,  it just so happens that they have a 9 month old they did not place from the last litter because she was going to be their show dog, think Best in Show, (I just watched that trailer again it is such a great movie!)

Dalmatian litters are classified into show dogs vs pets by the spot placement on each puppy. Dalmatians are never just bread as pets and if they are you have to be very careful they are not inbred because Dals can have a lot of health problems. Most Dal breeders give their top girl and top boy puppies to people who promise to show them and keep the "family name" strong in the show arena. So this particular female puppy has amazing spot placement, she is just so beautiful, her spots are actually dark brown, so she is technically a liver spotted Dalmatian. However, once her adult dog teeth came in the breeders realized that this dog has an overbite so she is no longer "show" material. Thus the breeders who already have 5 dogs that they show and breed decided they would place this puppy in a home as a pet and that home is probably going to be ours! She is a very sweet and slightly shy. We have visited with her twice now and she is warming up to us and that is great. She had never seen a baby before Elsa and was doing really well around her today. The breeders never really walk her or socialize her except with her Mother and Father which the breeders own, so her circle has been very limited. I am sure once she comes to our house and gets to know us and meet our friends and their dogs everything will be fine.

I will probably pick her up Monday, this weekend is CRAZY. Tomorrow being my birthday and all Jonas and I are going to dinner at Plaj a new Scandinavian restaurant to have a date night, while Miss Elsa stays with grandma and grandpa. Then Saturday we are hosting oh about 30 of our friends and their babies to a birthday BBQ. Then Sunday i have a meeting at my house for YSC stuff and then I have to run to a surprise baby shower for another friend. Oh my! I'm already tired and wishing I could fast forward to Sunday night...

Before and After

The cool new cabinet I found for Elsa's room!

The dog is like, what is this little person, I'm confused!