All I want...

is a nap, each and every day. I wish I could switch places with Elsa and know that I would get put down into a dark and quiet room every day to sleep for as long as I wanted. There would be no dog bugging me, no cat walking on me, no baby not napping, no laundry to worry about, no sanitizing to think about, no bills to pay, no body parts to shave, no dog poop to pick up, and no car seat that needs desperate cleaning, and no little alien inside of me kicking into my rib cage.....just a nap and nice long restful, energizing nap. I think I used to take those in college, when skipping class didn't bother me and I could literally sleep til I felt rested. Those days are long gone aren't they? I'm just happy these days that Jonas gets up if Elsa cries in the middle of the night, so I don't have to readjust my belly, and earplugs and everything to get up and out of bed and then back in again. You Mom's out there remember, the last 10 weeks or so of pregnancy and the effort to just get comfortable. Yeah, that's where I'm at.

SO, 8 weeks from today is the csection, yay!! I want to meet our little girl, and get back to feeling like me. I was talking to Elsa's vaccine nurse today, because she is enrolled in a clinical trial, which is now done today with the final blood draw. Anyhow Suzy, I love her, so fun to talk to, she has 2 boys. I told her I'm not going to breast feed not even try, and if I could take the magic pill I heard is not allowed in the US to stop your milk from coming in I would. She laughed, she said she had so many friends that didn't with their 2nd kid. I hear this more and more, and it gives me a sense of relief.  I know this is the best decision for me. I want this kid to take a bottle from anybody, Jonas, me, my Mom, the babysitter, you name it, community involvement I call it. Suzy told me she ended up BFing her 2nd because he wouldn't take a bottle and she ended up doing it for 18 months! Yikes! I can't imagine being "on call" 24 hours, ever, for anything. Having a toddler that likes to climb, jump, and get into anything and everything is enough work, a newborn is a lot of work too even without the BFing. So to get through this time ahead in a sane and non martyr-mom way, formula! I also want my hormones to go back to normal as soon as possible. I want energy back and to be my even keeled self.

The last few weekends we have had some fun times, this weekend no plans but maybe to fix up Baby girl's room. I have been rummaging through Elsa's old clothes, too bad a lot of the stuff is mismatched to the seasons meaning when Elsa was in 6 month size it was summer, for this one it will be the dead of winter. But there is a lot that will work no matter what so besides a few cute matching outfits I already bought I shouldn't be and don't need any clothes for her. I've also decided to try out a compostable diaper service. We will see if I like it or not. I put Elsa in one of them overnight and it leaked, but she did get extra milk.

The most surprising yet awesome news is that my 2nd cousin Astrid, will be coming "to help me out with Elsa" for a few weeks in July. Her Grandma is my Dad's sister in Denmark. She is almost 17 and has never been to the states, so while it will be nice to have somebody play with Elsa so I can get those naps, we will also take her around the sights. Jonas and I decided to buy Giants tickets for her, us and my bro and his girlfriend. That will be fun, a real american institution...but if anything AT&T park is so beautiful and the views of the bay are great.

Ok Elsa is napping, so I need to try and get one too. Bye Bye